Chaabuk

By Sumedha Gupta

Ek insaan mere andar saans leta hai.

Jise ghode ki tarah main bhagati rehti hoon.

Thak jaane par chaabuk thoda aur zor se maarti hoon,

vo aur tez bhaagne lagta hai.

Phir usse chaara khila kar dilaasa deti hoon,

ke aage aise hi badha jaata hai.

Apni thakaan ko nakamayabi samajh,

vo thodi aur jaan lagata hai.

Aur main dekhti rehti hoon—

usse khud se jhagadte hue,

khud hi haarke, khud hi uthte hue.

Kyunki, aage aise hi badha jaata hai.

Par main use kahan lekar jaa rahi hoon?

Ye mujhe bhi nahi pata.

Ye kisi ko nahi pata.

Ab hum dono bas tez raftaar mein

kisi ore bhaage jaa rahe hain.

Jab manzil ka hi pata na ho,

to bhaagne ka faayda kya hai?

Par ab bhaagne ki aadat aisi ho gayi hai,

ke rukne se darr lagta hai.

Kahin vo na ho jaaye... kya?

Pata nahi.

Shayad kuch aisa na ho jaaye

jo humara zindagi ko samajhne ka nazariya badal de.

Ke shayad bhaagne ki zaroorat hi nahi hai.

Shayad zameen par let kar

kuch der taare dekhne ki zaroorat hai.

Mitti mein sanne ki,

dhoop mein chhupan-chhupayi khelne ki zaroorat hai.

Shayad bachpan ko ek baar jee lene ki zaroorat hai—

jis bachpan mein bade ho jaane ka dhakka na ho,

rok-tok na ho,

peeche koi chaabuk lekar na ho.

Khule maidaan mein daud lagakar

vaapas usi jagah aa jaane ki zaroorat hai.

Aage badhne ke bandhan se

aazaadi ki zaroorat hai.

Par ab kuch hua yoon hai

ke mujhse zyada mere andar ke insaan ko

meri zaroorat bhi hai,

aur mujhe khone ka darr bhi.

Use lagta hai,

vo mere bina daudega hi nahi.

Par main use kaise samjhaun—

ke main to bas chaabuk chalati hoon,

pair toh uske hain.

Vo jab chahe, kitni bhi raftaar se,

kisi bhi disha mein,

bina rok-tok ke daud sakta hai.

Par bachcha-sa hai—

mera haath chhodne se darrta hai.

Main roz samjhati hoon

ke use ab meri zaroorat nahi hai.

Mera kaam use yahi tak pohochane ka tha.

Aage ka safar vo apni manmarzi se kar sakta hai.

Par kya karoon— chhodta hi nahi hai.

Bilkul bachcha hai.

Darpok bachcha.

Arre, apne pairon ki ore dekh!

Ye daud-daud ke jo ghise hain,

vo kiske hain?

Ye haddiyan jo mazboot hui hain,

vo kiski hain?

Raftaar bhi teri hai,

dhridhta, samarpan—

sab tera hai.

Mera to bas chaabuk tha,

jo ab kahin peeche ger aayi hoon.

Ab bas vo insaan hai, aur main hoon.

Jahan vo mujhe le jaana chahe, le jaaye.

Ke vo chaabuk kabhi mera tha hi nahi.

Kisi ne haath mein thama diya tha,

aur bola tha: “Maaro!

Maaro, nahi to aage nahi badh paoge.

Peeche reh jaoge.

Bade hokar pachtaoge.”

Par maine uss insaan ko

qareebi se dekha hai.

Use toot-te bante,

gir-te, aur phir uth-daudte dekha hai.

Use uchhalte-koodte,

khush hote bhi dekha hai.

Ab mujhe usse pyaar hone laga hai.

Main usse aur maarna nahi chahti.

Main usse kahin le jaana nahi chahti.

Balki main chahti hoon

vo mujhe apne saath le chale.

Vo jahan bhi jaana chahe,

jahan uske chehre ki muskaan

uske kaanon tak jaaye.

Vo daudna chahe ya baithna chahe,

jo chahe vo kare.

Mujhe jo zimmedaari saunpi gayi thi,

uska mehetva khatam ho chuka hai.

Vo ab aazaad hai.

Aur apni aazaadi ki pehli saans leta hai.

Main uske liye hamesha hoon.

Par mujhe pata hai—

use kabhi meri zaroorat hi nahi padegi.

By Sumedha Gupta