Bitter Truth

By Jeevansh Balachandran

Mind and body ain’t the perfect partners

Always fighting over one thing or the other

But suddenly why does my body feel so numb now

All my emotions are dead nothing excites me anymore

My once favourite hobbies now ain’t worth the time no more

I don’t feel happiness or sadness at times

I react to news usually late at night

I space out during conversations looking at the sky

Wondering about my existence and why am I still alive

I feel I’m dead though I’m still breathing

My mind keeps trash talking but I don’t listen

Don’t know how but I just wanna disappear

Maybe I’ve suffered a lot lately and want to sleep forever

And I won’t blame no one for the stuff that has been

I feel like I am dead inside for a long time now

The once pure soul was nowhere to be found

But I remember opposing, when my mind handed me the noose

Or was I hung up already trying to avoid the worst outcome

Now that I think back, this wasn’t the time where it all began

I used to be so happy like I had my own world to reign

But that world crumbled to dust when the darkness prevailed

I saw the change in me, the people and everything around me

For an instance I thought it was a bad dream

But it was the harsh truth that I used to unsee

At that point, I didn’t know what I’ll be going through

Met a lot of backstabbers on the way

Piercing my back like a dart game

I took in all of the pain and smiled again

Didn’t knew I’ll forget how to smile one day

Well, I don’t trust anyone now

Because the ones I trusted came short on the vow

You come alone in this world and you’ll go alone

And find a lot of imposters that’ll murder your soul

This world doesn’t have any trace of hope

Humanity is just hanging by a rope

Guess my lifetime in my horoscope wasn’t actually right

Having this insane fight about living with my mind

Breathing this air in, is just increasing all of my pain

I was a healer once and there’s a fair share of problems I sustained

But no ones there to heal me now

I lay here waiting for the acid rain to pour down

Melt away my sadness with my body and soul

And I don’t think I would return to such place even as a ghoul

I still think about how naïve I was

To keep living this pathetic life for so long

The demons inside me are crying out loud to end it all

Telling me ways to end this pain forever

Guess I’ll see how it works in the afterlife

For better or worse I’ve set my eyes

On what to do to find eternal peace?

Drag this worthless life or take a final leap…

By Jeevansh Balachandran