Beautiful View

By Arima Gupta

Too big to cry

Too shy to dance

Is that the life she wished for me

The life I visioned in my trance

The protruding shame that hangs on

The fear of failure that lures in

I have become something I have always feared

A girl not fit to be in her own skin

An extrovert in reality

Hides behind 'why doesn't she talk much?'

Trust me I really want to

It's just I don't have any topic as such

You ask me whether it is difficult

To stay like this forever

It's just all those people have left me

The ones who promised to be together

Stolen stories, hidden lies

Pretty pictures, perfect thighs

Makes me doubt if I should be here

A tiny monster wanting to disappear

Constantly thinking about what others perceive of me

Minding my business along with my attitude

Daydreaming about the things that make me happy

And to my home I hence stay glued

I am reminded about how we have one life

And that we should live it to the fullest

But how am I supposed to do that

When a grand life for me just doesn't exist

Ask me how my day has been

And I'll be grateful you care

Give me a sweet compliment

To a million people I'll share

I guess that's the point where I lose myself

Because my happiness has been the job of others to complete

I search for approval all though the day

And for self validation, I retreat

I may rant on and on

But I guess you must have heard this many number of times

So I'll stop right here

From all this drama, you probably need a break sometimes

I may be insecure

A little moody too

But atleast I don't throw words in the air

And to my people I stay true

My face may not be that perfect

My love handles may prove that to you

But if the world was blind

I guess I might impress one or two

So I guess it's fine the way I work,

The way I talk and decline the dances

It's okay if I am currently not the person

Whom I wished I was in the difficult circumstances

People will always find a way to despise their existence

And I don't want my name to be embedded on that long list

I hope someday you'll be able to accept yourself too

Look yourself proudly in the mirror

And enjoy the beautiful view! <3

By Arima Gupta