Back Then

By P.R. Rakshana Sree

Sometimes I wonder if I grew up too fast

I want to turn back time and live in my past Though it wasn’t the happiest part of my life It was better than right now, I felt alive

Right now, my walls are slowly breaking down The people I loved never seem to come around Back then, I didn’t know what hurt is

I didn’t imagine myself crying

In the dark, late at night

When my parents put up a fight I recall my childhood memories

Where they were happier, put me to bed and told stories

Back then, I wore unicorn themed things

Back then, I never thought I’d end up like this Back then, I was actually enjoying

Back then, I was happily smiling Back then, I played a lot and I ran

Back then, though alone I still had some fun and

Back then, I thought I knew everything and didn’t need help

Back then, I actually loved myself

Things feel really different in the present

It’s supposed to be some sort of gift but I feel like it isn’t Right now, my walls are slowly breaking down

I feel like I’ll disappear without a trace or sound

I feel too much pressure, too much pressure on me

I’m starting to dislike food, sleepless nights, I feel like a zombie

I wish something or someone could’ve warned me That happy ever after wasn’t always meant to be

So, in the dark, late at night When me and I put up a fight

I recall my childhood memories

I know I’ll be happy one day but it’s nothing compared to my ecstasy when I listened to those stories

Back then, I was the happiest person alive

Back then, I never thought I’d fight with myself to survive Back then, I didn’t know I could run out of time

Back then, I always wore an original smile

Back then, I didn’t care about friends or anything at all

Back then, I didn’t know my knees would go numb and I’d take a hard fall

Back then, I never thought about my future

Back then, I never thought that I’d suffer

Life isn’t the same when you get older

Too much pressure, too much to suffer, it gets harder I wanted to be old when I was younger

Right now, I swear to god, childhood is better

I know that I will get through this

Race through the storm and I won’t trip on sticks I know that this will come to an end

The loss I suffered and at times where I couldn’t pretend

It’s just another phase in life

I won’t give up, I’ll strive to survive I know that this will come to its end

But it’s a fact that I was happier back then

By P.R. Rakshana Sree