An Ode To A Longest Winter

By Leena Afsha Ishrot

My heart leaks with the blood engraved by the patterns of your name 

Every time I hear my cellphone buzzing, 

I think it’s you.

It’s more than a quarter of the year,

There are hardly any calls or postal cards from your side.

It’s tough to be a wife of a military personnel.

What’s the colour of a courage to hold a nation’s flag with silent battles and quiet victories?

The tension hanging inside my brain like a thin velvet curtain 

My tired eyes and angst of sleepless nights 

Answered the haunted valediction.

After your departure from home,

I waited for you under the mistletoe like any other December,

At the end of the month, my chest feels full of heavy feelings

As if something is stuck in my windpipe and I could barely breath 

If I knew this January would bring endless grey with an unwanted gift 

I would like to dig my own grave beside yours.

Am I allowed to cry? Or is it time, a woman’s best friend?

Every winter I think of you and the silent nights with the doldrums of December

Which makes me numb and cracks my heart into a million pieces.

By Leena Afsha Ishrot