An Empty Feeling

By Shaurjyadeep Ray

If you want me to be brutally honest,

I’m pretty sure I just wanna die

I feel tired of the same numbness everyday

I have no more tears left to cry

I don’t see why I should torture myself,

And keep holding on to this fictitious hope

No matter how much I try these days,

My future seems to be covered in smoke

I don’t seem to be of help to anybody

Nor does it look like I have any impact

If I did, it’s all been for the wrong reasons

People can deny it, but I know it for a fact

I’m not helping anybody in this state

Not to myself or to the people around me

Believe me, I’ve tried to change everyday

Taken small steps, but nobody chooses to see

I find too much comfort in my own mental illness,

So I scurry back to the hole I come out from

It happens every time I seem to get back to normal,

And then again I start hating the person I become

But don’t worry, I’m not gonna let anything happen to me I’m just waiting for my soul to fade away at the right time But I do wish I remembered the feeling of being normal and happy again Well who knows, life has a way of throwing surprises at you sometimes

By Shaurjyadeep Ray