A Troll's Life - By Malachi Gilbert

Written By: Malachi Gilbert

Category: Short Story

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Step into the whimsical world of "A Troll's Life" by Malachi Gilbert, a delightful short story featured in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. This creative piece takes readers to the village of Ugaboo, home to a community of surprisingly clever Trolls. Gilbert's narrative is a charming exploration of the unexpected and the humorous, as it unfolds in a land where Trolls and Fairies linger in a comical conflict. The story enchants with its imaginative setting and quirky characters, highlighting the playful dynamics between these mythical beings.

About the Work

"A Troll's Life" is a delightful blend of humor and fantasy, immersing readers in a world where Trolls, far from being fearsome, are neat and clever, yet hilariously terrified of Fairies. With a light-hearted tone, Gilbert crafts a tale of whimsical misunderstandings and misadventures. The story is rich with vivid imagery and inventive scenarios, particularly the Trolls' humorous attempts at defense with their ingenious traps. The narrative playfully critiques leadership, offering a satirical look at priorities in governance, all wrapped in a captivating fantasy world.

A Troll's Life

Original Submission by Malachi Gilbert

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A Troll’s Life

by Malachi Gilbert

Part 1: A Rather Small Problem

Over the hills, beyond the trees, and just past the sort of bush that looks suspiciously like a sleeping badger, lay a village that most maps missed out. Its name was Ugaboo. Nobody knew why. The Trolls certainly didn’t. They had more important things to worry about, such as tea, turnips and whether the royal laundry had been folded properly.

Ugaboo was home to Trolls. And before you picture enormous, ugly creatures with warts the size of potatoes, think again. Trolls were neat, tidy and only fifteen centimetres tall. Their houses were swept, their gardens were trimmed, and even their rubbish was put out on the right day. They were also surprisingly clever, especially when it came to building traps, inventing weapons and finding ways to avoid doing the washing-up.

There was just one small problem. The Trolls were terribly, horribly, spectacularly frightened of Fairies.

Yes, Fairies. Those delicate little creatures from storybooks? Forget them. A Fairy stood two metres tall, had eyes bigger than a Troll’s head and had tentacles instead of arms. Where you might expect suckers, it had teeth. Lots of teeth. Teeth designed for grabbing Trolls and eating them like particularly crunchy snacks.

Fortunately, Fairies had one weakness: their brains. They were so astonishingly stupid that one had once tried to improve its thinking by stuffing rocks into its own head. The experiment ended badly. The Fairy did not live long enough to tell the tale.

For generations, the Trolls and Fairies had glared at one another across the fields. The Fairies wanted to eat Trolls; the Trolls wanted not to be eaten. It was the sort of disagreement that could have been settled with a polite conversation, but neither side was especially good at polite conversation. And so, eventually, the matter came to King Fluffy.

Part 2: The Button of Insults

Fluffy, the 754th Troll King, had been thinking about war for quite some time. The Fairies had been creeping closer to Ugaboo, frightening the villagers and eyeing the turnip fields as if they were an all-you-can-eat buffet. At last, the Troll army had been declared ready.

The troops had spent weeks marching up and down, practising sword fighting, testing their bows and drinking a huge amount of tea. Meanwhile, Fluffy had been preparing for the most terrifying moment of his reign: pressing the big red button marked DECLARE WAR.

The button would send the Fairies a pre-recorded message insulting their mothers. It was not a well thought out plan, but it was the only one Fluffy could remember from his military training. He shut his eyes, gritted his teeth and pressed it.

A few seconds later, a tremendous rumbling shook the palace.

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Fluffy was terrified of storms. He bolted behind his curtains and tried to make himself invisible, which was difficult when you were wearing a crown and shouting, “I’m not here!” His butler, TumTum, dragged him out by the ear.

“Owwww! Why do you always have to do that, TumTum?” Fluffy complained, rubbing his ear. “Your Majesty, look outside!”

Fluffy peered through the palace window. In the field stood a magnificent, glorious, terrifying… pig.

“A pig?” he shrieked. “You dragged me here by my ear to show me a pig?” “Not the pig, sir. Look beyond the pig.”

Fluffy squinted through the morning mist. “Oh. A cow. Wonderful.”

TumTum gently took the King’s head and swiveled it to the left. Fluffy gasped. Beyond the pig and the cow stood a vast army of Fairies, each one enormous, hideous and very cross. They had clearly received the message.

“Wow,” Fluffy whispered. “Fairy mothers must really hate being insulted.” “Shall I sound the alarm, sir?” asked TumTum.

Fluffy continued staring. “Th-there must be at… least… f-f-five!”

Despite being King, Fluffy was terrible at counting. He could count to five, and only on a good day. His parents had once described him as “gradual”. Fluffy had taken this as a compliment and had been rather pleased with himself ever since.

While the King’s brain struggled to imagine a number larger than five, TumTum took charge. He sent archers to the walls, checked the hidden traps and, most importantly, made sure everyone had a full teacup. The Trolls had prepared carefully: deep holes lay concealed beneath branches and leaves, while multi-arrow launchers waited behind the village walls.

Then the battlefield fell silent. The Fairy General stepped forward, raised its horrible head and opened its enormous gob. It appeared to be about to say something important.

Part 3: Turnips

Well, it probably was saying something important. Unfortunately, Trolls could not understand Fairy language, and nobody heard much of it anyway. Timmy, a young Troll archer, panicked and fired three arrows straight into the General’s noggin.

The Fairy General staggered. The other Fairies roared with fury and charged towards the apparently defenceless village. Halfway across the field, the Fairies began tumbling into the hidden holes. Others were sprayed from the Trolls’ multi-arrow launchers.

Within fifteen minutes, only four Fairies remained, which even Fluffy could count without help. They turned and fled. Two fell into the extra Fairy-catching holes the Trolls had thoughtfully dug along the escape route. The final two, in a panic, tried the famous rock-in-the-head trick. It was no more successful the second time.

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The Trolls had won! And they won the next few battles, too. They tore through the Fairy lines, and for a while Ugaboo seemed unstoppable. Unfortunately, war is expensive. Arrows cost money, launchers cost money, and apparently even the army’s tea budget was becoming a problem. The royal treasury could pay for only a couple more months of fighting. After that, the Trolls would have to retreat.

Once again, TumTum saved the day.

“We change the currency!” he announced. “There are 21,543 turnips left over from the time Your Majesty tried to make turnip soldiers. We can use those as money!”

Everyone agreed. Everyone, that is, except MushMish, the kingdom’s brilliant scientist. MushMish had a beard, which made the other Trolls suspicious. Everyone knew that no self-respecting Troll had a beard. It was a foolish rule, but foolish rules were common under King Fluffy’s rule.

MushMish pointed out that turnips were vegetables, not money, and that the plan might cause a few problems. Nobody listened. He was, after all, a bearded scientist. He began to suspect that his intelligence was wasted on people who thought a vegetable could solve an economic crisis.

And so Ugaboo’s economy changed overnight. Bank managers and money printers went broke— after all, you can hardly print turnips. Turnip farmers, on the other hand, became rich beyond their wildest dreams. Some even bought a second wheelbarrow.

King Fluffy was less delighted. His favourite dish, Turnip la crème, had been cancelled because turnips were now worth too much to eat. In its place, the palace kitchen served chocolate éclairs.

“Bleh!” Fluffy cried. “Who eats chocolate? Everyone knows it’s dog medicine!”

He was still mourning his dinner when TumTum burst into the room, looking as though he had swallowed a wasp.

“Your Majesty! It’s MushMish. He’s gone over to the Fairies!”

MushMish had not left for a change of scenery. Furious that nobody had listened to him, he had decided to help the enemy defeat Ugaboo. Worse, he knew the Trolls’ weapons and defences better than anyone. The Fairies had found themselves a traitor—and a very useful one.

Part 4: An Emergency of the Wrong Kind

Fluffy spat out his lukewarm tea.

“MushMish? Who’s going to make the flying teacups, then?”

“Sir, MushMish didn’t invent those. WibbleWobble did,” said TumTum.

“Oh. Well, that’s all right, then.”

TumTum took a deep breath. “But Your Majesty, MushMish was in charge of all the missiles!” “The missiles are just big rocks,” said Fluffy.

“Well, yes, but—”

“Then we’ll put the rocks in the massive arrow-launcher!” Fluffy declared, delighted with his own genius.

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“But, sir, the massive arrow-launcher is for emergencies.”

Fluffy’s eyes widened. “It is? Where do I go, then? Can I use it now? I haven’t been to the toilet this month!”

“No, sir. Not that kind of emergency.”

“Oh. Why didn’t you say so?”

“I did, Your Majesty. You—”

“Shut up! Can’t you see I’m desperate?”

TumTum glanced at the King, who was sitting in a position usually associated with badly folded deckchairs. “Well, sir, I did notice you were sitting rather awkwardly,” he muttered.

“BE QUIET!”

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”

At that moment, WibbleWobble burst into the room. He was the kingdom’s chief inventor, the creator of the flying teacups and, on this particular day, the bearer of news for the King.

“Sir! I have good news and bad news.”

“Give me the good news,” snapped Fluffy. He was in a terrible temper, although this was not unusual. Some historians believe he had been born in a bad mood.

“We’ve captured MushMish!” said WibbleWobble.

“Excellent! And the bad news?”

“The Fairies have broken through our defences.”

MushMish had told the Fairy General where the hidden holes were and how to recognise the safe route between them. With that knowledge, the Fairies had found a way through the Trolls’ carefully prepared traps. The turnip farmers were the first to run, abandoning their precious crops and their newly bought wheelbarrows.

“That means there are still turnips, though, doesn’t it?” Fluffy asked nervously. “Of course, but—”

“Good! Then make me some Turnip à la crème!” ordered the King.

“But, sir—the Fairies!” TumTum stammered.

“Who cares about them?” Fluffy said dreamily, already imagining the creamy, buttery glory of his favourite dish. “I’m glad this has worked out well for everyone.”

Outside, the Fairies thundered through the palace grounds. The Trolls’ defences had fallen, their army was scattered, and their kingdom was doomed. TumTum and WibbleWobble exchanged a look and made a swift exit.

“Everyone,” Fluffy repeated, tucking into his turnip delight.

As they hurried away, they heard the King call after them: “A second serving, please!”

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And that, my friend, was the sad and thoroughly avoidable end of the village of Ugaboo and Fluffy, its 754th King. Its people had fought bravely, its traps had worked beautifully, and its scientists had been ignored. In the end, the kingdom fell not because of a traitor, or even because of a terrifying army of giant Fairies, but because its King cared more about pudding than the invasion.

The moral of this story…well, that’s easy. Never introduce a King to Turnip la crème!

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar celebrates diverse voices in literature, providing a platform for writers worldwide to showcase their creativity across various genres. This prestigious competition invites participants to submit works in poetry, short stories, and essays, fostering a global community of storytellers. With a commitment to artistic expression, the competition highlights the power of words to connect and inspire, creating an enriching experience for both writers and readers alike.

We extend our heartfelt thanks to Malachi Gilbert for sharing "A Troll's Life" with us in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. This enchanting short story brings joy and laughter, capturing the imaginative spirit of storytelling. We are grateful for your contribution and look forward to seeing more of your creative work in the future.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.