A Mother Is Born

By Ann Asha Paulson

We know the exact minute and second when a baby is born. The baby's first reaction is a loud cry, announcing to the world his/her arrival. That cry is so essential to the survival of the baby. It brings life giving oxygen into the lungs and brain of the infant.

But when is the exact moment a mother is born? Is it when she knows that she's pregnant and will have a baby in approximately 9 months? Or is it immediately after she has delivered her baby?

Not all women jump around with joy when they come to know of a positive pregnancy. Some may be studying or working and just didn't plan or foresee a baby in their near future. Some think of it as a curveball thrown into their life, something they didn't exactly want.

There are those that struggle with anxiety and depression, unsupportive family, ill health, complications to pregnancy etc. Pregnancy is a very different experience for each woman. Some parts may be alike, but most women have very different and difficult journeys, influenced by their personal situations.

And when the baby is born, the one who has sacrificed the most, the one who bore the most pain, the most discomfort, the most apprehension, the bittersweet anxiety of that moment of meeting her newborn, is the person who is unable to enjoy the moment the most... Even after delivering a baby, be it normal delivery or caesarean, it's not an easy road of recovery for the mother. A seemingly simple task like breastfeeding the baby can also be a very painful experience. The woman's body has been under so much stress and it takes time for her body to heal and get back to normal.

Caring for a baby, vulnerable and helpless, is a demanding job on its own. Nonetheless, through the repeated actions of changing diapers, feeding the baby, rocking him/her to sleep, burping the baby, trying to understand why the baby is crying even after being fed and burped, a mother is born. Through sleepless nights, exhausting days, slowly recovering bodies.

There may be others to help. To hold the baby. To cook. To clean. Sometimes such support may not be readily available. But the woman soldiers through. She wakes up every time, responds to every cry of her baby. She feeds, she cleans, she loves.

And as the baby grows into a toddler, through all the milestones, timely or delayed, she watches her little heart learn to roll over, crawl, stand, toddle, speak.

There are still days that are exhausting. Nights that are disturbed. But she wonders how that tiny little infant has been replaced by a sweet, sometimes moody, and cranky, toddler! She looks at other pregnant women and tries to remember those days when she herself was pregnant, wondering what her baby would be like.

And even though it's a demanding, 24 x 7 job, she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Because she knows it's a gift: not everyone gets to be a mother.

By Ann Asha Paulson