A Conflicted Mind
By Khansa Mushtaq
According to science we have our mind divided in levels like conscious mind and sub conscious. I aint trying to teach science here but what I am trying to say is that most of our minds are always thinking. Thinking about career, love life, friends, hope, dreams, breakups, losses and if you don’t think any of it then you must be either asleep or dead. What I mean to say is thinking isn’t an issue that’s quiet normal but not thinking according to me is a big problem.
I personally think a lot, infact I think more than I speak. Well! That isn’t good as well because then you land up in a world of over thinkers. So what should we do? Should we think or not think or how much thinking is a good thinking and how much is bad?
Let’s get to basics of it. Why do we think?
Probably we think because we always want to make right decisions. But in spite of so much hardwork that we do on thinking. We still land up doing bad decisions not always though but yes, it isn’t necessary that thinking always helps. And where does regret come into play? After we think so much and still make bad decisions, we REGRET.
I don’t think I can give you an advice here that how to think and how to not regret because that’s totally impractical. I believe we all never understood the fact that repercussions are inevitable, we do know this but we never understood it. Like for example if I am about to choose between going to Switzerland or Maldives I know where I am going and I won’t be surprised later on if I see a beach because I was prepared for it , why don’t we take life like that? Why do we get obsessed with an idea which hasn’t yet become a reality? We should be prepared for the choices we make that it may turned out pleasant or not pleasant. The problem comes we plan so that it turns out to be pleasant. We always plan for best outcomes but we never think of a failure. Because our minds have been conditioned from our childhood to stay positive which is intoxicating, we always try running after pleasant feeling that if that doesn’t happen in real we become frustrated and constantly think to chase this positivity.
What are we supposed to do? Well I feel the only way to not land up in conflicts is to change the narrative of it being a conflict. There is no thing called positivity or negativity. It’s as simple as this, you like something, you don’t like something. And the most important thing is we got to deal with both of them. You can’t get lost in your likes and you can’t avoid your dislikes, you just need to prepare your mind in way that I have to face both of them sometimes individually and sometimes together. How do likes and dislikes go together? Think about humans! Every human in this world has something which you like and something which you don’t like. You deal with both of them!! You do that, you have been doing that.
Why don’t we deal with everything in life like that? Like a human. Like for example a career that I choose will have a bad side and a good side why can’t I deal with both of them. Why do I regret. I just need to deal.
No one taught us in life that we have to deal with everything that life gives us. We just were taught to make right choices and trust me there is no right or wrong. There is just “more right and little wrong” or “little right and more wrong” but they both come together always
So next time we land up in a conflict. The first thing that you will do is don’t REGRET. Change your narrative to just deal with what life gives you and you will find it so interesting to solve everything that life offers you… thank me later
By Khansa Mushtaq