Cold

By Suravi Mishra

I can hear the water trickling by. I can feel the cold wind on my face. I can also feel the

warmth of your hand in mine. I look towards you. You have your eyes closed, with a serene

smile on your rugged face. I think you are asleep until you squeeze my hand tighter. "It is a

cold day", you say. I close my eyes.

This is something we had only imagined doing the past few years. A camping trip; away from

people, in the depths of a hilly forest, with a river gurgling by. It had felt like a dream back

then. It still did. I can see flashes of the day we had our first conversation. The day when you

called me for the first time, my nerves were a wreck. After a lot of inner conflict, I picked up.

None of us said a word. I could not stop smiling. It was the most charged silence I had ever

experienced. You tried being gutsy and croaked out a "Hel-"; and you lost it. You hung up.

We have come so far since then. Texts turned into calls, calls that lasted all night. And then

they were replaced by video calls. I had 100 people to talk to, but I chose to talk to you for

100 hours. I grew to love a stranger I never saw with an intensity which both amazed and

awed me. I felt things which I thought were possible only in books. My reality had turned into

a fantasy. And now, you're here.

You slide closer and put an arm around me. "So cold". I cannot help smiling. Typical you. My

thoughts wander again.

Call it fortunate or unfortunate, we had landed up in the same college and I had to bear with

you for the next 3 years. "You're shorter than I imagined", were your first words. I was so

annoyed! You don't say that when you meet somebody after years of online talking; you

simply cannot! We shook hands. You winked, "But you do have warm hands." I was puzzled

but I had made up my mind to hate you forever after that.

That night when you showed up at 2 a.m. half wasted, you could barely walk. "Hi Maggie",

you slurred with a cheeky grin. I could not decide whether to punch you for that annoying

nickname or hold you before you tripped. Before I could decide, you collapsed on the bed. "It

is sooo cold when it rains". You were semi-conscious. I made you coffee, even though I

knew it was going to cool off on the window sill. "Come here?". I sat by you. You reached up

and brushed the hair from my face. "You're always so warm. I don't feel cold when you are

around." You shifted your head to my lap. "You feel like home", you mumbled before drifting

off. I ran my fingers through your tangled curls. You snuggled and tried reaching for a

blanket. I had found my home too.

"Are you happy?" Your voice brings me back to present. Your curls brush against my neck. I

feel your warm, steady breathing on my shoulder. I smile and nod. "The grass feels so cold.

I'm glad I have you to keep me warm." I scoot closer to you and boop your nose. I close my

eyes again.

You were so excited when you told me about the camping trip you had planned with your

friends. There was going to be hilly forest, a gurgling river, and amazing company. It was a

dream come true for you. You were so happy. I was so happy for you. You took my hands in

yours, looked right into my eyes and said, "Someday, we are going there. Just the two of us.

Away from people. We are going to lie on the grass near the river. I'm going to hold your

hand and make you feel exactly what I feel for you. You just wait till I get back, love."

I waited. I waited for so long. But you never came back. They said the river took you away.

Why did you go into the river? You hated the cold, didn't you? You could have stayed by the

bonfire. You could have gone trekking. Why did you go into the river?

The grass is so cold. The wind is so cold. The trickling water sounds like a mocking giggle. It

took away the source of my warmth, after all. It won. I'm so cold, love. The tears streaming

down my face don't feel warm. The stuffed toy I have in my arms doesn't feel warm. My

heart doesn't feel warm anymore. It is cold. So cold. Come back, because I need you to

warm it up for me. I'm so cold. Come back home, I have coffee waiting for you. Come back, I

will accept all your stupid nick names. Come back please, the blanket has stopped smelling

like you. Come back love, because I have nowhere else to return to. Do you hear me? Come

back and we will keep each other warm.

By Suravi Mishra