By Dedeepya Tatineni
This is a short story about something which everyone of us "OFTEN" neglect!! We care for our body, sight, looks, and many more.... but do we actually care for our brain ?.....our "LOVELY" brain, which does everything....?? DO WE..."REALLY"?? Cool then.... let’s read this short story filled with suspense and the importance of "mental health”!
I don't know why I feel like telling her about her faults. Seriously! She should change her attitude. I wonder...what on the earth changed her? Anita! my bestie, I love her to the moon and back. She was an extremely cheerful girl...just like me...always had a smile on her face and was excited about everything in life. I saw a sudden change in her. Only God should know why she's behaving so differently. “God! I can't see my friend like that! Why doesn't she tell me what happened! “I cried once in my small temple room. I could find myself losing my companionship. She was no longer talking to me. I'm not complaining though! I just can't see her like that with a glum face and not responding to me. Anyway, one day I decided to talk to her though she was ignoring me for a long time. It was a bright sunny Friday morning. I woke up happy with the hope to make a change in her behaviour. She was scribbling on her book in recess with that same glum and angry expression."
Hey...!!Hi..aa..what are youuu..doing?"I asked in a stammering tone with a forced half-smile. She looked at me, her eyes directly into that of mine, with a sense of guilt. Without even letting me speak further, she rushed to the washroom. This made me feel much sadder. I immediately went there.
"Tina, did you see Anita rushing her?”, I asked one of my friends with a worried look. "Yes dude...she did come, but left after she saw a big queue here...you always know that our washrooms need a lot of waiting right..! Huh!!", she sighed. "I don't know what happened to Anita yar, she's completely the opposite of what she was earlier, "I said in an almost crying tone. "Oh really? What happened to her?", She asked with a shocking face. Before I could speak further, there was a huge sound from one of the washrooms which made me almost cry. "What was that?”, I asked with a stuck open mouth.
"Man...! Is this girl out of her mind? What is she doing in the washroom", Tina said with a terrible confused expression on her face.
We started banging on the door.
"Who is there inside?”, I asked Tina very fast, with curiosity and worry.
"Riya, our security's daughter!", she said with a sharp tone. "Oh god! What is that kid doing inside?" I asked in a soft and worried tone. "She went long back, dude!” Tina said out of impatience. She opened the door after 15 minutes of our banging. Her face was expressionless and blank. "What happened dear?”, I immediately asked her with a consoling touch. She didn't utter a word. She showed a knife filled with blood. I was shocked. Anita raised her eyebrows out of shock. "You little girl, do you think you can kill mosquitoes with a knife?”, Tina asked angrily. "Tina isn't your behaviour so irrelevant and ridiculous. Let's enquire what happened!”, I said in a pacifying tone. I don't know why Tina sometimes speaks with total irrelevance. "Dear, tell me what happened. Why did you shout like that? Where did you get this knife from?”, I asked in a consoling tone. "This knife was in the dustbin", she said innocently. "Knife? In the dustbin? Are you kidding me?”, Tina asked with a sarcastic tone. "Tina, don't be so rude to a small kid" I snapped. "Is it true dear?” I asked to assure myself. "Yes", she said with her eyes filled with tears. I didn't know what to do. Why would a knife be in the washroom? I was thinking and came out of the washroom unknowingly." Why do you believe this kid's words dude? Don't think much. Let's inform her father, he might be out. We don't even have time. We need to go to the class", she said out of impatience. I didn't know what to say. Tina went and informed the security. I stood there, at the same place as a statue. There was no movement in my body except for my eyes. "Oh, don't worry Tina. Yesterday, after the cadaver workshop, they didn't know where to throw that knife, so they threw it there. There's nothing to worry about", he said with a cool face. But how does he know that we had a cadaver workshop and what is the need to throw it in that dustbin? I asked myself. I was into deep thought. "Let's go to the class now. It's already late", Tina said with urgency. I went to the class silently. I didn't look at anybody except Anita. I was unable to listen to the class. “What is all this?” I murmured. My palms started sweating. "Ma'am may I go to the washroom ", I asked the teacher. "Now? just now you had the break right? What did you do then? ", she asked with a serious face. "Ma'am I need to wash my face, I'm sweating horribly", I said. Tina looked at me with a worried look. Before the teacher could permit me, I walked out of the classroom and went directly to the security, out of anger.
"How do you know that there was a cadaver workshop yesterday?” I asked him with a suspicious look.
"I dooont knoww what arree", he was stuttering and speaking breathlessly. "I know that you're lying, "I said strongly. “We didn't use a knife yesterday in the session.” I said with my big eyes. "I'm sorry I was forced to lie," he said with an innocent worried look. "Forced? What happened?” I asked him with a demanding voice. "Iiii..justtt can't..." he stammered. "What!?",I shouted. He took a deep breath and started. "Yesterday a girl came and told me that she kept a knife in the dustbin and told me not to tell anyone. I didn't know that it was filled with blood till Tina told me" he sighed. "Is this true?”, I asked him with a dazzled look. "Yes, I'm not lying this time", he said. This is the problem with MBBS colleges. People cover it up by saying cadaver workshops, autonomy, etc, etc. "But what is the need for a girl to do this?”, I asked myself. That's when I got an idea. "Can you recognize the girl's face?”, I asked the security out of hope. "Sorry, I couldn't see her face!", he said with a nod. "What do you mean?” I asked with a ridiculous expression. "She covered her face with a scarf", he said. "Oh god!” I sighed. I went back to the class. I was thinking only about why a girl would do that. Did she kill anyone? Or is it something which I need not worry too much about? So many questions popped out of my mind.
"Divi! Solve this problem on the board", the biochemistry teacher demanded me!
Yeah....that's my name, Divi, lovely, isn't it? I had no option. I went to the board and held the pink-coloured chalk piece. How would I complete the sum? I didn't even listen to the class. I was scared. "You seem disturbed today", said the teacher. "Yes ma'am", I said. "Fine, you may go", she said. I was happy that she didn't force me to do it. My mind was having thoughts about the knife. We were done with college. I was packing my bag. Everyone left. I sat in the class, thinking. I couldn't stop myself from being curious to know about what happened. I'm sure that I didn't mention this earlier, I always wanted to be part of CID. I love investigation. That is the reason why I'm curious. That doesn't mean I hate MBBS. I love that too. Anyway, I came out of the class and went to meet Tina. I'm sure that she would be in the Kirana shop holding a cigarette in her hand. "Tina! Enough of cigarettes yar! Your health will get spoiled", I said with a smooth voice. "It's my weakness dude! I can't stop it!” She said and put the cigarette in her mouth again. I don't know why she buys 3 to 4 packs per day. "Alright, you never listen to me!”, I said. "Ok! So this is the last one", she said. "I'm worried about Anita yar!” I said with a sad tone. I was also worried about the knife. But I alone wanted to find it's a mystery. So, I didn't tell her about that. "Don't worry yar! Anita will be fine. Let's talk to her in the recess tomorrow", Tina said. "Fine! Chalo, let's leave, "I said. Anita goes by bus. Tina and I use the auto.
I went home. I did nothing. Just thoughts and curiosity.
A WhatsApp message popped on my phone. It was by Tina. It read, "Hey! Swetha committed a suicide attempt! She's dead yar", she said in a very sad tone. "Omg!" I replied. It was so shocking. Shwetha is a happy girl. Why would she commit suicide? "Funeral?" I asked Tina. "Her parents took her body to their native place, so the funeral might be there", she said sadly. "Oh!" I exclaimed. It is so sad to know that Shwetha committed suicide and died. "It's unbelievable actually. She is a very happy girl. Why would she commit a suicide?" I texted. She was typing and before she replied, I was stuck at a point. Does this incident have a connection with the knife? Damn! Should I feel happy that I can investigate it for myself or feel sad that Swetha is dead! Tina's WhatsApp message flashed a minute back. I didn't see it. She called me. "It's a very bad news dude", she said with a soft and slow tone. "Yeah, it is ", I said. "But how can you say that it is a suicide?”, I asked. "The college staff says that it's a suicide dude", she said.
The next day we went to college. As usual boring lectures. Everyone was sad about Shwetha's death. Classes were going on. During break time, I tried to talk to Anita. But she didn't utter a word. I bought a chocolate for her because she loves chocolates. But that definitely wasn’t the perfect time to give her the chocolate! So, I thought of putting it in her bag secretly when she goes out of the class. I'm sure, she would not accept it if I gave it directly.
Meanwhile, I had a conversation with Tina.
"Hey Tina!", I said. "Hey dude", she said sadly. "Are you alight”, I asked. "Yeah! I'm just wondering why Shwetha committed a suicide", she said. "Yeah, I thought about asking this. How do you know that it's a suicide?”, I asked. "She died in the college. So it's a suicide", she said. "But how can you say that?", I asked "It's apparent dude", she said with confidence. "Why can't it be a murder?”, I asked "That's a rare case dude", she said. I don't know why Tina sticks with the same thing. "Fine. We will have a clarification about how she died after the post-mortem" I said sharply. I was very interested in investigating and knowing what happened. Tina went for her everyday dose of cigarettes. Anita went to the washroom.
So this was the time I can put the chocolate in her bag. I sat in her place and unpacked her bag. Before I could put the chocolate inside, I found a paper.
It read:
Asha clinic, ph. no 040-2464&&&&
name: Anita, age:21, gender: female
disease: Schizophrenia
Medications:
1. Licab
2. Lorazepam
3. Pacatine
My jaw was opened throughout while seeing it. That was a prescription.
Oh my god! My dear friend has a mental disease. This is why she is not talking to anyone.
I immediately took a snap of it, put the chocolate inside and closed her bag before she could enter.
The break time was done.
Again classes, those boring classes.
After the last bell of the college, I went to Tina and showed her the snap.
She was shocked on seeing it.
"Let's go to the doctor and get to know about her condition", I said out of sadness.
"Sure dude, let's move, now", she agreed.
We went to the hospital. It was not too far. It was very neat and clean.
"We need an appointment with Ms. Neeru," I asked the receptionist.
"Sure. Your name?" she asked.
"Divi and that's Tina", I said pointing my finger towards Tina.
"Ok.500 please?" she asked.
"Yeah, here you go" I handed over a 500 rupee note to her.
"Please have a seat ma'am. We will call you", she said.
We sat on the chairs. We waited for half an hour. Of course, that is what happens in hospitals. I was thinking so much that I didn't notice Tina calling me.
"Dude! Come, we are called", she said.
"Yeah", I said without any expression.
We went to the doctor's room.
"Please have your seat young ladies", she said with a big smile.
We sat, and I started talking.
"Hi, doctor! We are friends of Anita, your patient, we came here to ask about her condition and its severity so that there might be a way for both of us to help her, along with the medication", I said.
"Oh! Sure, I'll let you know, Anita is suffering from Schizophrenia. She'll be fine in a few days. No need to worry. Just make sure that she's happy", she said in a pacifying tone.
"Oh! Thank you, doctor. We definitely will. Can you please explain to us about the disease doctor?”, I asked politely.
"Sure. The exact cause of schizophrenia isn't known, but a combination of genetics, environment, and altered brain chemistry and structure may play a role.
Schizophrenia is characterized by thoughts or experiences that seem out of touch with reality, disorganized speech or behavior, and decreased participation in daily activities. Difficulty with concentration and memory may also be present.
Treatment is usually lifelong and often involves a combination of medications, psychotherapy, and coordinated specialty care services."
"Oh!" we exclaimed.
" There is, according to experts, a kind of cycle effect when it comes to ignorance of mental health issues and stigma surrounding them. The less people know about mental disorders, the more likely they are to be afraid or confused by them or to hold beliefs that penalize or misunderstand the mentally ill. Stigma both stems from and creates more ignorance; when something's seen as socially taboo, people are less inclined to learn more about it; and when we don't learn about mental illness, we're less able to identify a mental health concern emerging among a friend, family member or ourselves, or understand what treatment options are available.
Personal experience is the swiftest way to learn about mental illness.
Moreover, most of the people think health is only physical health. But, health is of two types, and they are equally important,
When you're worried about your legs, eyes, nose, and all other parts, why not the brain which is indeed very important!"
"True doctor!", we said together.
"What are the symptoms doctor?” I asked.
"There are many symptoms: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, disorganized behaviour, and the so-called “negative” symptoms. Schizophrenia often occurs with another mental health disorder. In Tina’s case, it is borderline personality disorder" she said.
"Usually, these kinds of patients are not violent. But in her case, there is a tendency to be violent which is the rarest element I’ve noticed about her", she added.
"What do you mean by violence doctor?”, I asked out of shock.
"Hmm...it might be the tendency to involve in crime or aggression which can be present in the behaviour, etc", she said.
"Crime", I said loudly with my big eyes.
"What?”, Tina asked.
"Nothing let's leave", I said.
My hands were shivering.
"Ok thank you doctor", Tina said.
"No problem. Take care of your friend", the doctor said.
I came out of the room, my face became pale, hands were shivering and I didn't even notice the increase of the speed of my heartbeat.
"What happened dude?”, Tina asked.
"Shwetha", I said in a very low voice.
"What Shwetha...you mean?", she asked unexpectedly.
"Yeah I think it's Anita who murdered Shwetha", I said with extreme shock.
I didn't get into mind that I wanted to investigate it alone, I just said it, out of shock at that moment
"But it's a suicide right?", she said
"Damn! How can u say that without the post-mortem reports? We are future doctors Tina. Be practical" I snapped.
"True, but why would Anita murder Shwetha?"
"The murderer is the mental illness which Anita has, not Anita ", I said breathlessly.
"Could mental illnesses be that harmful?", she asked.
"Why not? Even the brain is a part of our body and it can get a disease which is severe too", I said.
"True", she said.
A WhatsApp message flashed Tina's mobile saying Swetha's post-mortem report says that she was murdered.
"Told you right?”, I said, Tina.
"Damn!", she exclaimed.
We went back to college the next day.
Anita was looking a bit better.
"Why did you meet the doctor", Anita came up and asked
"To help you, dear, we are there for you", I said.
And then, after a long time, yeah, a very long time, I saw a big smile on her face.
Then, we saw her with tears rolling down her cheeks. That happiness in her eyes! I can't forget that moment. "Thank you guys, I've never expected this from you," she said crying heavily. We went and hugged her.
"Dear, what happened actually?", I asked
"Nothing Divi, it's just the imbalance of chemicals in my brain", she said.
"But why does that happen?” I asked innocently.
"Most of the time, it's due to stress Divi. But for me, there is no particular reason which the doctor said. I have been suffering horribly. I didn't want to kill Shwetha. But it happened unknowingly. I couldn't help", she said with a sad face.
"Oh", we exclaimed. “Are you having your medication at a proper time, dear?” I asked her with a consoling touch. “Yes", she said.
"I know how hard it is to face a mental illness. But, by god's grace, I am recovering well, and I'll be normal in a few days. Trust me, Tina and Divi you guys have no idea about what kind of hell I've gone through...Not only both of you, but any person also who does not face the illness will never know how it feels. I couldn't talk to anyone. I couldn't sleep well, I couldn't think properly, I always wanted to have a knife in my hand, no control over myself, it was horrible guys, physical issues are visible to naked eyes. But if mental issues were visible, then there would be a picture of flames showing up from the head is what I feel" she said sadly.
She continued talking...
We listened with our mouths open a bit.
"Since it isn't visible, there is a lot of stigma and people don't understand the concept and importance of a branch of health which is equally important to physical health. Moreover, people aren't aware of mental health in India guys. In countries like the USA, there's a lot of awareness. But now, no! We need to educate people guys, being a mental illness sufferer, it is my responsibility to create awareness about mental health. We all know Deepika Padukone, a star; she faced a mental illness and spoke about it openly and opened a foundation to help and support people facing different kinds of mental illnesses. When you face it, you do not want anyone else to face it; I could empathize with that feeling. If there is no action taken regarding creating awareness, the suicide rate is going to increase because most of the people who face mental illnesses don't have courage though they are strong when they are normal. I've seen this on the internet. So, they commit suicides. According to a study, almost 24% of the suicides in India are due to mental illnesses. I don't want anyone to face what I faced guys. I want you guys to help me with this. We should do something to remove the stigma attached to it and bring courage to the sufferers", she said out of concern.
"Sure dear, we are always with you. When our work is useful to people; we are ready to do anything", we said.
After 5 years
"So, all ok?", Tina asked.
"Yes Tina, but I think there needs to be a curtain here", Anita said.
We were shifting our mental awareness centre which we started four years ago to create awareness about mental health to people and to help the sufferers by giving support, courage, and help.
"Ma'am, there's a patient waiting!", the server said.
"Please take care of the patient, Divi ", Anita said.
"Sure dear", I said.
"Please come, this way", I said guiding the patient through the entrance of the Cabin.
"Give us five minutes, we are shifting the centre. Anita will be coming "I said.
"Sure, that's not an issue, take your own time ", she said with a big smile.
I was dazzled actually. Since five years, I never saw a patient coming to the centre with a broad smile like that, though every
the patient goes back with a smile!
"Let's buy another table fan near the waiting area," Tina said to Anita.
"Guys. Stop talking. Anita, it would not be nice to make the patient wait. Go, meet her", I snapped.
"Yeah! Coming", Anita said in a hurry.
She opened the cabin.
Tina and I went inside.
Before Anita could speak, the patient interrupted.
"Hello young ladies, how are you all?", the patient said.
Three of us were confused.
"I'm not here to seek help, I'm here to help you all. I'm a psychiatrist and I recently came to know about the selfless service which you guys are doing. I'm ready to join you guys, only if you agree ", she said.
We were shocked, happy; and many more emotions were apparently visible on our faces.
"I'll do it selflessly too!", she joked and laughed.
We laughed too.
"You're welcome, ma'am!", we said together.
Now, yes, now! I felt there was a true meaning for our lives!
YOU MAY NEVER KNOW, where life takes you.
Everything happens for a reason. Keep going.
By Dedeepya Tatineni