Wanting To Die

By Nandhini Chithra

Dear Death,

Tasting the pains of melancholy,

Kissing the aches of monotony,

Deep despair is piercing down-

my wailing heart, silenced.

Silence me fore ever,

So I could hear no more,

The voices that haunt me,

Traumas that broke me,

Screams that deafened me,

And the ones who kissed betrayals to me,

And the ones who abandoned me,

Just silence me forever, my death.

I yearn to disperse deep down into you,

Where nobody could find my naked body and soul,

My withering skin and flesh to be forgotten,

To end the churning chaos, bruised feelings,

Shadowless emotions and the insane brokenness,

Finally, to end myself by getting sowed into you.

Deep down I know,

One day you will come

Fetch my dark soul,

Cease my heartbeat,

My ruined feelings,

Tainted emotions and,

Buried lifeless tears,

Empty my flesh and bones

And let this skinny body looks still.

Something very deep down awaits you,

So enclose my feeble lifeless soul-

with your warming arms.

Every day as I breathe,

It gets too heavy to bore all inside,

It feels too empty to live,

Fill it with stillness and subtle silence,

That never rusts for ever,

Let the soil taste my dull naked skin,

And you, my sweet death,

The fragility is all I'm now,

Futility is all I have,

And you is all I destine.

It’s true that I crave for you,

But stay away for a while,

‘cause I wish to experience-

something scintillating before your arrival.

I want to explore my sexy hormonal plays,

With a someone or with a random stranger,

Or with a known dastard.

By Nandhini Chithra