By Prisha
‘He stomped up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door shut. The shouts of his mother asking him to explain his late arrival were silenced by the sudden, deafening loud music that blasted from his speakers. His father barged in and gave him an earful for such disrespectful attitude.’
“Every teenager behaves like that” is the common phrase parents use to console themselves in such situations.
But is it truly just that, a common phase that will pass away with time?
Or is there a purpose behind a teen breaking all rules? Is there a reason for such defiance?
For years, he lived under the unquestioned authority of his parents. Polite, responsible and respectful, he was an ideal kid. Then came a day when he realized that once he enters the real world, he would be alone. He will be forced to make every decision on his own. He will solely be accountable for all his mistakes.
That thought was simply terrifying for a child whose only care in the world was whether his friends would be free to meet up someday.
And hence, he decided to practice as much as he could. He wanted to be confident for when he would have to let go of his parent’s warmth and face the cold society. So he sought to be independent, to try and work things out in his own way.
With suggestions coming from every direction, he needed room to rationally think of all possibilities for his future. At the same time, his thoughts were heavily influenced by the trends around the world. The fear of being the outcast among his peers gripped his heart with a tight chain.
Because he could not voice out his inner conflict, the warmth of his parents felt suffocating, and this lead to clashes. To make them listen, he rebelled. To make them understand that he was in need for their support, he answered back. To show them how utterly tired he was of the mental turmoil, he gave up helping them around in chores.
Now I ask you again, was he really to blame for responding rudely, or becoming distant with his parents? Can the ‘normal behavior’ of teens be simply disregarded? Is this not the time when they need utmost reassurance?
Behind every rebellious act of teenagers, is a clueless child who is afraid of the future, a child who wants to make the most of the little time left. And while parents do want to protect their child at all costs, let the child have some independence. Give them the space to grow and learn on their own. Allow them to make mistakes, and hold them accountable for it. For they strive for acceptance and approval.
These restive souls yearn for nothing more than understanding, empathy and assurance.
By Prisha