Cruel Christmas

By Archisha Paul

(Christmasis shown as a mean Holiday who is bored of performing Christmas miracles and wants to stir up some mischief for entertainment. Years of being the most important Holiday has made it arrogant and judgmental, There was nothing Merry about this Christmas)

[ a haughty-looking Christmas day comes on the stage looks at the audience, rolls its eyes and sits on the stool cross-legged

I am not very fond of you humans, you know? with your set beliefs about traditions and that annoying habit where you think you are the greatest creation of God, I mean have you seen yourselves? But you are curious little creatures if you ask me. There are times when I look at you and am completely disgusted by your pathetic greed and lust for power and materialistic things and then there are times when I feel that the creator actually gave a thought to you while making you. That there is a beating heart behind that cold calculating brain.

We bet, you know which one you will follow. Most of the time I win because you prove me right, sometimes I lose because God cheats a little and then sometimes ….we have to call off the bet because you confuse the living daylights out of us through your mysterious ways

of combining both. That is exactly what Della James Dillingham Young did to me.

Now, I don’t consider it worth my time when comes to organizing the events of, well me, to interfere in your miserly lives and provide you with ideas on how to win the best Christmas present contest, But every once in a while, I get bored so I find amusement in tampering with your plans. Which is exactly what I did to Della and Jim. The idea

came to me as I looked at Della staring at her 1$ and 87 cents, clueless about what to give Jim for Christmas.

Dell had always been the better looking of the couple, what with her beautiful brown hair, the first treasure of the Youngs. As some would believe, the brown cascades were enough to put queen Sheba’s jewels to shame ……. I didn’t like them, ugh, just looking at them gave me a headache and the process of maintaining it? if you ask me that is probably what sucked them dry of the fortune they once owned. So, I did what any sensible day in my position would do. I put the idea in her head that she didn’t need the hair as much as she needed to give something to Jim for a Christmas present, because of well traditions and appearances. and bitty bopity boop she was in the salon getting the haircut of the century by Madame Sofronie, who by the way, was having a rather horrid day and this little surprise visit was probably the closest thing to a meaningful present she was going to get that Christmas, plus she even made a good 20 dollars off of it.

Anyway so, with her boyish looks and 20$ in her hand. Della skipped into town to find Jim the perfect gift. And find it she did. A simple chaste platinum fob chain for the simple chaste Jim’s extravagant gold pocket watch, the other treasure of the Youngs . she got it for exactly 21 dollars. so with her present, short hair and 87 cents of change, Della went back home to give Jim the best present in the world. Oh! There was no way he could have done better than her.

Well she was in for a surprise now, wasn’t she? You see Jim like any typical man had no clue what to buy for his beloved. “I’ll get her cake!!” psh yeah. ‘Fine then I will get her flowers !!” Boi what? Get your head in the game. No, you will buy her the set of combs she loves so much but can’t afford because you are broke . “yes!!! That’s the best idea I have ever had!!” ugh ignorant mortal. playing with men’s minds was far easier than women’s. They didn’t suspect a thing. “ But how do I buy them I don’t have the money ?” I will sell

my watch, thought the noble Jim or should I say was made to think that by the cruel Christmas day. And just like that bipptiy bopity boo part 2 with no sense of time, literally, Jim dashed home to give his beloved the perfect Christmas gift.

Now, this is where the fun should have begun. Jim would see Della with short hair be furious because he sold his grandfather’s watch to buy her combs that were now useless. And Della already insecure about her looks would feel worse. and bada big bada boom entertainment for me and with a little extra pocket money. But notice how I said ‘should have’ instead of ‘did’? Yeah, that’s because God was in no mood to lose this time and was pulling his own game . which he would later refuse and blame on ‘Free will’.

Here is what happened. Jim, to my annoyance, was surprised to see Della’s new hair, not furious or even mildly angry, just surprised. And Della was scared because she thought she looked ugly with short hair. “ I did it for you” Girl please …you are relieved you don’t have to plan shampoo days from now on.

Useless Jim, but Della was worse. Instead of getting angry at Jim for getting her the one thing she couldn’t use, she was ecstatic. She loved her present. Of course, she did !! but no matter the fob chain was still left to give. Ah yes, now Jim would be outraged, for the pain of selling the family heirloom was worse than losing hair that would grow back. But no, he didn’t even bother to look at the chain. He simply smiled at Della and told her he sold the watch to get her the combs and asked her to put the chops on.

Ooooh, I was so pissed!! They completely ruined my day. But I was angrier at the fact that I realized, though foolish their gifts were probably the wisest choice because it made them realize. The greatest treasure of the Young family was not Della’s tresses or Jim’s watch, but the willingness to sacrifice these treasures for the sake of

a smile on the other’s face. It was love. ( eugh) ( Christmas walks off still gagging)

By Archisha Paul