Control

By Salem Shaikh

For the longest time, I remember, Feeling the need to control, Not just myself, but others too, In mind, body and soul. Every variable, every chance, Every look, every glance, Every step, every dance, Every coincidence, every happenstance. It is not as simple as it seems, Moulding the clay which has already been moulded, Changing destiny, Is akin to running blindfolded. Trial and error got me nowhere, There was no pattern, no blueprint, Just nightmare after nightmare. It took its toll on me, Like it would take on anyone, As I tried to play God, It took me further from being human. Soon I looked around, Seeing the monster I had become, Not a God, not a human, Not even worthy of being scum. For the longest time, I remember, Feeling the need to control, Not just myself, but others too, In mind body and soul. Why was it so? I don’t remember anymore. What was it all for? All the conflict, all the gore? I had become something to abhor But why? What did I want to control?

It was never about every variable, every chance,

It was never about every look, every glance,

It was never about every step, every dance,

It was never about every coincidence, every happenstance.

Then in the mirror I saw,

The reason for all the uproar,

The universe’s biggest flaw,

The kid nobody could adore.

And I remembered,

Feeling the need to control,

Not just myself, but others too,

For how else would they love my filthy soul?

By Salem Shaikh