By Akansha Verma
I know it's too late for anything but still I'd like to say to you if I could -that I acknowledged everything you did for me even if I didn't always showed it,I noticed & I know I messed up in a certain way…what we had. But I'm glad we happened even for a brief period of time. You taught me more than one feeling. I admit I didn't reciprocated and it complicated everything. I wasn't a good partner to you than you were to me.
I am proud of you for your accomplishments & that you had the courage to choose happiness when you had an opportunity. I believe I did not give you a reason to stay and I hope you understand I had my own complications at the time, ones I couldn't ignore. I wish you happiness wherever you are, if it's any consolation I'd like to admit that I miss you. I miss you every single day, I wish you hadn't walked away. I wish you stay healthy so that we don't have to meet again because I don't know how I would react if I ever see you again. I regret every moment of your reign when I could be with you and I chose not to.
My mind carries you to all the places i go.
I remembered you for longer than I've known you. And maybe my version of 'you' has changed inside out- but for me you'll always be that happy kid who told me that my eyes were the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen. One who cheered me up on my bad days and took pride in my victories. Your presence changed me; in a way that I feel more like myself.
I can't get rid the thought of you without losing myself a little, it ruined me and somehow it was worth it. No words in any language can justify the way I want to write 'that' version of you- the one I knew, the one I fell for. I've immortalized all the good things about you and forgotten the rest; the way we do when we know someone isn't coming back. I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you.
In a parallel universe somewhere in a different world I hope I collect my bones and crawl back to you, I hope it’s not that late there.
I am incapable of hating you; all that is left - is my love for you.
Yours,
Could have been.
Aditi wrote this letter but never dared to send it. It's a bit cliché .And the guy whom it was meant for was getting married in a few days. She knew this could turn her mundane life into a Bollywood moment but she decided to take backseat about the major decision of her life and believed that if her love is powerful enough he will come back on his own. Also partly because her career was a little messed up and like all conventional middle class girls she was brought up with the motto 'good girls study well and earn well'
And for her parents being a doctor meant everything. Well indeed she was a doctor at this moment but her degree came at the expense of her boyfriend. He was her soul mate and she loved him dearly since school, fifth grade to be specific but studies got in the way of her relationship. She was always sure that she'll end up with him. But destiny had plans. Plans she didn't saw coming. While she was struggling to crack her postgraduate entrance exams, he got engaged to someone.
And there she was heartbroken and confused about how to tell him that she still loved him. Time was passing and she could do nothing. She wrote this because all the manifestation guides told to be grateful to five most significant people in her life. And he was one of them. Well he was the one!
By Akansha Verma