4 Am Stories
By Ekant Sharma
4:30 am in the morning and he is lying on the trying hide from his parents that again tonight he did not fall asleep. From last 5months it’s the same routine, he closes his eyes and the same dream haunt him every night and now he is not able to sleep. His mother comes to check on him and very smartly he shut his eyes put one leg on other and grab the pillow to make her believe that he slept. And as soon as she went back, he again starts looking at the wall across the room. Nothing is same after pandemic. Many lose their families, many their friends, lovers, bonds with someone special, partner in crime, pet, acquaintance, neighbour but he loses that one person who used to care about him the most. She is alive and healthy but for her she is a ghost who he had not seen from last 1-year 8months 5 hours and 48mins. Isn't it sad that in this small life there are these heart-wrenching moments where you miss someone, crave someone, and want to be with someone but you cannot share these feelings with anyone?
All you can do is take your one pillow and let your eyes full of water carve the story of your broken heart on it in the cold silent night and you along with that story remember the beautiful moments of togetherness and love, which now you found with no one and all you want at this moment is some magic to happen to turn this pillow into her arms, these cold tears into her warmth and this silence into her heartbeats and as she embraces you tightly you cry out in joy and pain and promise her to never let her go ever again. But again, not all stories have happy endings. He gets up and sits in the balcony. Life is hard for us all he thinks, sometimes what we want we never get that. I wish I could have hugged you the last time I got the chance he says looking at her picture. You were looking so cute in that hoodie and blue checkered pyjamas and I just can't take my eyes off you while you were lying next to me sleeping like a small baby with a cute look, some hairs on your face but some things are not meant to happen and some people only come for some beautiful and life long moments in our life and then they leave and people say that we should not feel sad or disheartened about it but should cherish those beautiful memories but one thing that no one understands is that when that somebody leaves us then no matter what you do pray, cry, ask the universe for miracles it's not gonna change the fact that now this person is not coming back and the only thing which is left is a hole in our life with that person whom you love, miss, adore and care for but who is not anymore in your life. And with this, he sips a bourbon and take a puff kissing her picture and then putting it back. it is sad that sometimes you have to break the rules, and the values you set for yourself just because life takes such an unexpected turn that you don't know what else to do where to go whom should you ask for help? There is a phase where every second feels like a century and you just want this phase to get over but it will not because maybe you deserve to suffer in the ocean of pain. The human mind is amazingly powerful. It can do things for real that sometimes feel like magic but the human heart is something that takes you to the roads you never want to travel, the roads with demons beneath who are waiting to reopen the wounds and resurface the memories, which you never wish to see but these memories wait until one day they come again to make you feel miserable. The choices we made and paths we take are nothing but a way of getting closer to our most horrible dream but still, we choose to listen to the heart.
By Ekant Sharma