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By Raima Joseph

For a rather extensive amount of time, a nagging thought has been embedded in my mind. Much too stubborn to evade, the thought has evolved into an emotion. Evolved, merely a bunch of letters describing the fact that a thing or situation has changed. One knows not if the change occurred for the better or worse, the only thing the word tells us is that a change has been brought. Ever since I was a wee girl, evolution, in or around myself, has been quite an objectionable process. Although, what bothered me might not seem rather a large-scale issue, the simple stuff I enjoyed were the victims of it. Quite vividly it comes to my recollection, a show I watched when I was in nursery, the ever-so-famous blue octopus; Oswald. Every single day, mum would turn on the TV and the only thing to ever appear on it was Oswald, or rather I reckoned it did. Oswald, and his colleagues, are an indispensable part of my childhood, and thanks to YouTube, they're providing both merriment and knowledge to my younger brother as well. Alas, for such nostalgic bundles of joy, we must now approach YouTube as nowadays, I do not see any cartoon shows I am aware of. Recently, I went onto the Kids' section in my TV guide, to satisfy my thirst of some light-hearted old cartoon show to balance the drama series I usually watch. Upon surfing through channels, I noticed that I couldn't identify a single show. Being a young adult, it didn't bother me and I went back to my usual genre but, I felt rather...empty. For a minute, I completely lost my train of thought and resorted to the old memory of mine. A change had taken place and it was about time I noticed it. My disregard should not be confused with hatred, it is the slight discomfort something that has been changed brings in me. 

An anecdote to prove that change is not something I would never want. Every day, we took the same route to reach school. A certain highway, we used to pass through, and right below it, a foundation of some type of a building was being made. We passed through it every day and each day I used to notice the progress of the building. After a few months, the construction of the building had started. Three quarters of a year went by and the building took a very vague shape of a temple. In all, the development and decoration of the temple took a year and a half and every day that went by, I witnessed it. The temple, although made quite on a small-scale, looks magnificent but what makes it special to me is that I have seen it as it was transformed from bricks to a religious work of art. A kind of change that I love to be a part of. 

And now, a change has been brought upon my very self; a development, if you will. For some particularly senseless reason, I wanted to inhibit a villainous character. Dramatic, quite. Although senseless, the reason was valid, or so I reckoned. Managed to grow stone-cold and vile towards my peers, for the very same reason. Little did I know that I was never meant to be cold or nefarious. Neither could I. And henceforth, I gave in. I succumbed to the person I was meant to be, with no restrictions based upon past incidents. I changed. Though not sure presently as to if this change in me was beneficial, I feel unhinged. As if the chains that I had moulded for myself in the past have shattered by my present.

Things change, people change, both for the better and for the worse. We know not whether the change may prove an asset, but we feel at peace, eventually. It doesn't matter if those around you dislike what you may have become nor do their opinions about the change in you. At the end of the day, it is you who must feel contented with what you have become. Remember, an unhealthy change might still lead to a healthy well-being.

This, I shall remind myself incessantly, till I feel safe with the new me.

By Raima Joseph

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