Updated: Oct 17, 2022
By Badar Shaikh
I feel like there’s an unmistakable sense of emptiness inside of me
Throughout the day and through most nights, I feel fine. In fact, I feel great.
I’ve come far, farther than I ever thought was possible
But, despite it all, I feel incomplete.
Like, the center piece of the puzzle is missing.
These are the nights when this emptiness hits me
And I realize that I can’t run away from it.
I can’t hide or seek comfort in others, it’d be futile since this emptiness inside of me
Isn’t mine at all
It’s a void that you hold and only you can fill.
It belongs to you, even though it’s a part of me
It all belongs to you.
Mixed with this emptiness, is hope.
Hope that arises in my heart when I picture you smiling
When I picture us in each other’s embrace.
This bittersweet feeling longs for a tomorrow
A tomorrow where there is no distance separating us
A tomorrow where we’re free to live, to love, and to be
A tomorrow where we’re both in each other’s arms.
A tomorrow where I can kiss your forehead and make you feel safe and cared for.
Where people can’t shackle us or control us
A tomorrow, just for you and just for me.
This heart of mine holds out for hope
Hope that one day, out of the blue
You’ll knock on my doorstep
“Sorry it took me a while” you’ll say as you smile at me.
And on that day, all my pain and all my sorrows
Will be washed away by an ocean of happiness.
When this empty space inside my heart
Will be filled by all the love you have for me.
Hope is what separates the living from the dead
People who can hope are alive
And people who are alive, must hope.
So here I am, holding my heart out for hope
Patiently waiting for you to come back and fill my empty world
With your beautiful colors that only I can see.
Such a perfect day will that be
When my God leads you right back
By Badar Shaikh