1)Title: Self Pleasure- A Social Stigma? 2)Hope 3)The Nuisance Of Growth 4)O Thee “Thoughts"

By Namrata Purohit

At midnight at the age of 14, when my body released a reproductive hormone,

something inside started to change, and the child in me let out a groan.

to which my reproductive organs began to moan.

I was unclear and scared, as I had no clue,

what in my body was now new?

I saw my breasts growing fast,

and my uterus throwing blood blast,

my vagina spreading vast,

and every month for 5 days my period last.

I was told I hit puberty,

this was nature’s duty,

to bloom a woman’s beauty,

but society would consider that blood snooty,

and each month on those 5 days, I won’t be allowed in temples with that blood-stained bootie,

because that’s how things have been since ages under the names of cultural rooty.

For years my oestrogen, progesterone and libido were on a roll,

and my thoughts used to be on a questioning stroll.

What is this, that’s happening to me?

is this feeling of having pleasure through touch and kiss, a natural phenomenon to be?

I talked about it to a known close dame,

she said a woman experiencing pleasure without marriage is a shame,

and self-pleasuring is something she should not talk about aloud, as it could bring to her defame.

because if a woman explored her own body, the society could put on her the blame,

for security of her hymen is something the society thinks to acclaim.

And the self-pleasuring has only been for men the normalized game,

because years of patriarchy never allowed the women, to let her desires openly to the world claim.

Years passed in a mere hope,

that someday I would try to myself grope,

but I never had that courage and scope,

and my ideas always ended in a nope.

Was this normal to happen?

that with a thought of my crush I feel dampen,

but could never make my vagina and clitoris gladden?

was this, years of deep rooted advises?

that a woman self-pleasuring, is an act of shock and surprises?

that led me being incapacitated to doing the act of self-pleasuring and fantasizing?

I wish, we normalize and talk about self-pleasuring too, with women,

the same way we talk and normalize it about men.

and that this is not an act of shame if done by women,

but it is a phenomenon so normal, that even almighty would say Amen.

So, let’s break this Stigma,

so, no woman ever has about it any kind of enigma.

1. Title: Hope

Irony it is,

that "Hope" rattles through my window

"hoping" I'll let it in my heart, so it can let Love and Happiness grow,

and it starts talking to me as below:

"Open! open! the windows of your heart,

for only then can there be a new start,

but don't let your vulnerabilities let you dart,

this time, take a chance & turn this into an Art."

But I have a question for Thee - dear Hope:

" what if with the destiny’s weird game, I am not able to cope?

love and happiness that is promised, and get tied by the rope?

and get tamed under the shackles of love and happiness that is promised to me by hope?

tell me thee, how can I be so broken

and yet make a beautiful art token?

"I have a simple answer to your question, miss.

Let your heart free, let me in, and kiss

the newness, the love, the warmth and focus on your bliss,

and listen, you are not broken,

you are the prettiest Kintsugi, welcoming and open,

that has unfathomable power to heal, yet unspoken”.

How much of anxious I may get,

I finally let "hope" in me to set.

1. Title: The nuisance of growth

“Hail thee oh my Lord,

thy child prays you in her poetic cord. “

Dear Lord,

standing there with a gaze so still,

this job, this life, that has taken away my skill,

it breaks my soul in pieces & I feel as if this conventional sets have my soul killed.

I've been trying hard to push myself to the edge of limits,

but this time doesn't seem to pause its minutes.

I am unable to find my lost self,

who used to believe in the magic of elf

is this what money & growing up does?

take away my shimmer, twinkle, faith, ambition & buzz?

But I can't stay away from the moan of a cello,

O thee Lord, place me back in the light of a mellow,

so that “rejoiced" & “satisfied" will be my old soul fellow.

1. Title: O thee “Thoughts"

O thee “Thoughts",

that stick to my light as moths.

Don't you see the darkest Soul that I hold,

how do you try for it in your shape, to be mould?

why can't you, for a second, leave me alone?

let me, for a second, stop being your clone.

O thee “Thoughts”,

why do you stick to my light as moths?

you come to me in the most desolated & elated moment,

incapacitating my cerebral hemispheres of all the raw, uncut & quite potent.

Could you please, for some time, not be reckoned,

and leave me alone for a second?

O thee “Thoughts"

why do you stick to my light as moths?

By Namrata Purohit