Longing For The Lost Child

By Krishna KS

On my reading of Mahabharatha,

While I sympathize with karna

And angry with his maa kunthi

I have no clue about guilty of kunthi,

Lifelong guilty of a woman,

Who abandoned her child

Is going to suffocate me one day .

I was busy with taking care of,

My children,my family.

I was concerned about

all the people around me.

But I am least concerned about you.

I am not this much cruel

To any one but to you.

You are my first and

most important child.

But I am ashamed of

Accepting you with me

So I neglected you.

Suppressed you .

Even tried to kill you

By strangling with maturity.

But I couldn't succeed.

You were hid in the unknown

Compartments of my life.

Whenever I deceive my heart ,

I saw you sitting on a corner

tears streaming down your face.

But I never dare to ask why ,

Because I feared a blood shed

Of broken promises of

happiness and peace.

And I don't have the courage to face

Your shivering voice that asks,

"Why can't you be kind to me?

They say I lie but I don't lie"

Yes I know you don't lie.

What you say was my truth.

But they are unpleasant truths

They can break my castle.

I will not let anyone to take

happy faces of my children.

But I stay blind when ever

Someone humiliates you.

Hurt you, use you.

And let them defeat you.

I left you as a wounded child.

Time after time,somehow

I abandoned you,I sealed you

In a box of discipline and

Thrown into the dark sea of normalcy.

But I realized, the castle that

I am proud about is

Just a house of cards.

I fall apart day by day.

all this time I thought

I was growing.

But I was in a sinking ship.

Now, I am in search of you, dear.

I see you in the distance waving to me

with your unadulterated smile.

I want to come back to you,

Hold your hands, hold you tight,

Want to look at your eyes,

And want to say "I love you and

I will always protect you."

I am so excited to reunite

with you, my child.

I want to laugh with you until

my stomach aches,

Want relearn how to smile and

How to be happy without

Any reason.

Of all the roads I've taken

I've never moved as heavy hearted

As this road to you.

Please take my apology for

all the things I've done and said.

I'm sorry for all the waiting and

I'm sorry for all the time lost.

We will go for a journey

To heal you, to heal me.

we are going to do this

hand in hand no matter

What the cost is.

So Take my hand and

come my child,

Who is destined to

live inside me.

Will you give me

a second chance?

By Krishna KS