A Têtê-A-Têtê With My Girl & Eclipse
By Javeria Khurshid
"What is home to you, mommy?" " Ermmm....i looked at my girl thoughtfully and my mind went into an impasse for a second, to decide to tell her the truth or to tell her something from which she will learn lessons for her life to come or should I just tell cliched half-truths that we have been groomed up listening to and imbibing." A minute of silence between us and my young baby gets impatient. "Tell me, mommy!" So there I made a decision to tell my daughter all the truths I feel, the honest answers no matter how brutal they may sound, and never to prepare her for the world with baseless illusions and 'obselete' dictums that may mar her personality. So I smiled, tucked a hair behind her ear that was swaying her beautiful moon-like face and held her and replied, "Baby, my home is where I can move freely in pyjamas, hair rolled down, and with comfort and peace in mind and heart." She stared at me with her innocence seeping from her mesmerizing eyes and reflected ," but Mommy, isn't home where your family is?" Hhmmm.. Oops... I laughed at my little girl and explained that home is a state of being, where you feel safe, comfortable and content with no inhibitions, or
apprehensions. It is a sense of belonging. A sense of peace. Home is not just a place we live or come back to but it is a sensibility of acceptance; accepting your identity, respecting your dignity and not letting you change into someone you could never be. So my darling, the 'noor' of my eyes, I want you to feel comfortable, safe and at peace to be able to perceive 'home.'
After a while, after many many moments of thoughtful stillness, my daughter pulled my hand and with her charming antics, told me, "Mommy, my home is where my mommy is, for you make feel safe, happy and give me my sense of belonging." The light in my girl's eyes shone and it reflected the pure and unconditional love. I held in my arms for a long time, hugging her essence that twinned us. She was my home, I realised, the comfort, solace and content of my soul.
Just like the sun eclipses the earth
Into the cover of blackness
Your death eclipsed my life
Into the abyss of hopelessness.
The world beneath my feet
Trembles with the darkness
Of faithlessness and uncertainty.
The stars shine but the light seems gone
The moon wanes and hesitates
And time comes to a standstill.
You were the sun to my universe
Yet the eclipse of your death
Seizes and enfolds my soul
Into the palm of your memories.
This is a dedication to my father who I lost to covid on 28th feb, 2021
By Javeria Khurshid